Let's be honest; the truth can hurt. We often hold ourselves back in saying what we really think because we don't want to hurt the other person, we don't want to get hurt by their responses, or we ask questions when we already know the answer. Like the typical example of when we ask: "How do I look?" and we want to hear: "Wow, you look amazing!" We know that 's what we hope for, but inside, we know the answer ourselves. When we get the real answer, we get upset. Why is that?
The reason I come up with is that the real answer would require us to change and to do things differently to achieve a different outcome. It involves work and reconsideration of what we currently are doing. When we pass the point where we can handle the truth, we can evolve and be the person we want to be. If we all would face reality and start being honest at all times, we could deal with life much better.
Our lives are impermanent and are defined by constant change. When we can say the truth AND receive honesty, we can build a better relationship with ourselves and the people around us. New experiences and new knowledge is constantly asking us to revisit and reevaluate our current situations.
This past couple of weeks, I found myself figuring out my emotional states due to having received constructive feedback. I am sure many of us have been there when a response required us to look within, take some time to reflect, and think about how and why it affected us. I realized it is something we continuously do, with or without awareness. My observations were that only because I allowed the feedback to settle and experience my feelings that I can work through aspects of my life and work. Of course, I haven't found a solution yet, nor do I have the answer on how to solve it. What I do know, I had to be honest and transparent with myself. Acknowledging questions about what I want to achieve in life, what is the purpose of my work, and many questions to follow. These aren't going to be one-time deliberations. These inquiries will come up through the rest of my life, as we are always evolving and expanding with new information. By asking questions and talking to people whose input we value and see beneficial, will help us get where we see new opportunities and potentials to work through worries, challenges, and uncertainties.
It is inevitable to reach places of pain, sadness, doubt, and vulnerability when facing internal turmoil. It is those places that will make us grow and realize how much we still need to evolve and develop. There is so much to learn, so much we don't know, and so many prosperous journeys to follow. The vital aspect is to be honest, honest with ourselves and others. It is about time to support all our feelings we carry within us. If we shut out an unpleasant feeling, it will come up later in life with greater force, and it will be much harder to tackle.
Next time, instead of saying something nice to avoid conflict, rethink how we could deliver the same message. So we would be able to take a step back and see it as an opportunity to flourish and to build a deeper relationship with ourselves and the person we are with.