Updated: Feb 10
How often do we ask ourselves who we are and what we bring to the table? Probably rarely to never. A lot of times, we forget how much we matter to the people around us. All we focus on is how can we make other people happy, and what else can we do to be validated, appreciated, and complete?
Meanwhile, we forget that there are a few essentials that are relevant to execute these ideas.
Before anything else, we need to know what makes us us? What are the characteristics and behaviors we love about ourselves? And without changing anything, could we see ourselves be happy just the way we are? I am sure we could answer the last question with yes, and in the same sentence, we would add BUT. In a moment of contradiction is when we look at our habits and decide to make a change.
As psychologically advanced human beings, we can always find ways to better ourselves, to do things differently for a healthier outcome, and to exchange a few characteristics to be more outstanding. And usually, those actions require work, repetition, and countless times of trial and error. Even if we mastered a particular way of being, there comes a time in life that manages to throw everything out. During this conflict is where we struggle to pick ourselves up and commit to start again. Fascinatingly, we all get there. Some things we want to change, or I prefer to say, transform or adjust, are usually the habits and characters that have been with us for a long time and will require about the same amount of time if not more to transform.
What is significant to remember is that anything we relearn or learn new takes time. If we expose ourselves to a preferred, bigger picture of ourselves and see all the possibilities within that frame that we can work towards, we increase the chances to see little accomplishments. We tend to aim for one specific goal that is challenging to reach and are surprised that we didn't get there within a few weeks. If we find mini-steps that are attainable within a short period, we will feel much more successful — for example, being in better shape. Instead of focusing on the number on a scale, we could look at the times we choose a healthier option or being more active and realize how we can use each day as a new challenge. Rewards are on the other end of the spectrum and are just as important as the habits itself. Unfortunately, it wouldn't be helpful to have a piece of cake as a reward from eating a nutritious serving; we could take advantage of being more active and spend extra time to play with our kids.
By increasing self-care, like taking a bath or a walk, reading a book or magazine, or eating healthier, we also help our surroundings to establish new routines (of course after a few repetitions), and we get to know ourselves better, what works and what doesn't work. The more we care for ourselves, the more we can give to others. The more we know, "Who am I?" the more we will appreciate life. Let's go out there and welcome 2020 with new ways of seeing our potentials, and remember, we can always begin again.