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Being a Mother

There is so much hope, joy, and play in being a parent. Some of us dreamt of having a big family, live for the bonding, and celebrate all the incredible milestones in life. From their first time walking, saying mommy and daddy, going potty, entering Kindergarten, hanging out with friends without our attendance, attending college, getting married, having their children, and the list keeps going. With each new accomplishment, we transition into undiscovered territory. It can be a scary thought, filled with anxiety, and it doesn't have to be.

At the same time, we are also witnessing moments of unease, pain, uncertainty, questions, and fear if we are doing it right. How to guarantee a future of infinite beauty? If we are supposed to be parents in the first place? And how will my actions affect their future? There is no assurance of how our children turn out and handle their future. Some moments are more complicated and challenging than others, some can affect us deeply, and others happen in an instance and are gone in the next. We take these difficulties to heart and help us reflect deeper on how to improve ourselves.

When I first found out I was pregnant, I see being a parent as an experiment until this day. No matter how many books we read, how much professional help we get, and how tough we are on setting boundaries and rules, we never have a guarantee that it is the right way and the only way. In the past few weeks, I noticed how I keep adjusting and revisiting my ideas of being a mother. Especially when I take the role of guiding parents to be more mindful, I continuously find myself stumbling over my tips and tricks. We are involved with little human beings that have a life and a mind of their own. It isn't only up to us to guide them and teach them; we have to listen and communicate with them daily on what is present for them. We underestimate their growth and understanding of how we live our lives.

One thing I can always return to is how I feel in these moments of defeat, roadblocks, and endless emotional breakdowns. How do I stay calm and collected? How can I regain my sanity? How will I get through this another day? By allowing myself moments of reflection and knowing that there will be light at the end of the tunnel, I keep going; I keep trying, I keep looking within to grasp what else can I do to make our lives more full. There is no way around exhaustible discussions, frustrating tantrums, and tiring reminders. We can explore new ideas and tactics to reduce the struggles we face by breathing and connecting to who we want to be. And the most important thing we can do is to collaborate with everyone involved, so all our voices are heard and supported.

To all of you out there, mothers, fathers, uncles, aunts, grandmothers, and grandfathers, who are taking care of children. Be gentle with yourself, carry grace, and know that you are doing the best you can do with your available ability. Our work isn't easy, and our efforts will be rewarded at the end of the day (or many years to come). Take care of yourself first so you can be there when our little ones need us the most.

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