Summer Blues

Each year, we reach a point where seasons end, where we reminisce about what was, and experience a sense of grief and sadness. This emotional rollercoaster doesn’t only happen with a change of season. It happens whenever we have to say goodbye to something and someone we love. Practicing to let go and being curious about what else there is to take away takes time, and more importantly, it prepares us for the things that won’t return.

The question remains: What if there can be some gain in those experiences? Let me break it down to where to start and how to allow the fond memories to support the less fulfilling moments.

I’ll begin with how our brain can be trained to not only retain memories but also strengthen our curiosity about the unknown future. We often trust our memories of what was and are unable to move forward. Let’s stay with the summer memories of the warmth, sunny days, outdoor festivities, beach, and long days. These are unforgettable moments, just thinking about them makes me want to prolong the summer, for sure. And at the same time, especially if you have four seasons, they are here for a reason. Our bodies, brains, and activities can use a break, not an instant one, but one that slowly gets us to a more calming and recharging state, and if it requires our environment to lead the way, why not? At least there is no one to blame.

It is no secret that we humans have a hard time adjusting, especially when it comes to things we enjoy and love. The sad part is that it doesn’t get easier by itself. It is a muscle we train, a constant practice of reminding us that we’ll be okay. An inner dialogue that allows us to move to the next experience with more ease, even if we preferred the previous season more.

Now, let's see how we can reutilize our memories to our advantage. It’s a visualization and emotional support we can establish even if it isn’t happening in real time. The fascinating thing is our minds won’t know the difference between real and imagined, as harsh as it may sound. The more we can bring those beautiful memories alive, even with an image on our desk. It will bring some ease to our nervous system. You will let the present moment be more alive, and your body will release some oxytocin, the love hormone, to make you see and feel the present with more joy.

The final question that remains is, why does coping with ease with these little unpleasant moments prepare me for the grief I’ll experience for living beings and things that won’t return? The more I practice with the daily changes and little grievances we experience throughout a day, a week, a month, and years. We tell our brains solutions and ways to cope with life's challenges. We practice curiosity about how to continue life after the loss of someone. Sadness will be there. It won’t be eliminated, and it won’t change what happened. However, sadness has a profound power in how we want to remember someone and something. Again, our visualization of that connection will be illuminated, and our hearts are crying, and that experience is a deeply connected place to continue with life.

We can’t change the past, but we can change how we embrace the future and how we integrate the lost parts into our lives. And not to remove the grief, we’ll experience saying our final goodbyes to someone is a way our lives will bring more meaning and purpose.

#mindfulness #breathe #bepresent #compassion #love #connection #trust #awareness #grief #sadness #joy