• Raditia

Letting Go of What Was


It is so easy to get caught up in our negative thoughts. It is even easier to hold on to them and make them determine our future. The harder it becomes for us to look within and to make changes that will serve ourselves and especially the people around us. Over the past few weeks, I have been thinking about how it would be possible to use our current experience as an opportunity in the future. Not only to overcome this time but also to look at it long term, or better, as a life project. Since our initial "stay home" period began, I worked on patience, dealing with past experiences that didn't serve me, and expanding my communication and negotiation skills with a five-year-old. It's been working well when it was only my side that needed attention. Now we reached a new chapter on how to handle my son's struggles with being told what to do 24/7. The strategies that worked the past eight weeks are no longer working, so I have no choice but to revisit our needs and find new ways to get back to what we had. And here it is, we can't go back to what was. It has already passed, the clocks can't be turned back, and we are already in a new space. We both evolved every day. We both have new experiences that changed the way we think and see things. We both are looking for new opportunities to have our future work for us. Here is where the work begins. Here is where we need to pause and reflect on our strengths and weaknesses of the past few days, weeks, months, and years. Communication, negotiations, and new boundaries are vital to creating a new pathway. It isn't just programming our mental computer with the outcomes we would like to have. It takes constant fail and error to succeed. Because our thought processes have different comprehension and we might not like the solution one proposes, we have to keep communicating and negotiating about what works and what doesn't until, hopefully, we find common ground and understand where we come from and where we are heading. Now, this sounds and is complicated. What is useful to know is that when we practice revisiting our tendencies, know our dos & don'ts, and established a daily breathing practice, it will be easier every time we get to the point of no return. It might sound tedious and unnecessary to re-evaluate ourselves constantly on our life journey. What I learned, unless we work through our ingrained stories, expectations, perceptions, hurt, and unresolved challenges, we won't be able to live a life with an open heart, less baggage, and unlimited opportunities. It is very likely to be a painful and unpleasant trip, but it's worthwhile. We will be stronger and wiser after all and more likely to overcome any obstacles in life, no matter what.

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