There are two ways we can read the title of this post. One can be in a resisting and "I don't care" mode, and the other way is by being ourselves and acknowledging our behaviors.
Those who know me well know that I am not afraid to show my emotions, no matter which direction. And I am confident, we all have strong feelings even if we don't share them with others.
Why are some not worried about showing them? And why do we hold back in how we feel? Through this post, I encourage you to look into how you are yourself and where you could be more aligned with who you truly are with all the different facets that come along. I begin by sharing a little story about a recent experience that I am aware wasn't showing off the best version of myself, and I wouldn't change it even when it was painful to be around.
There is a friend I connected with deeply because we are both here to live in a world with more love and care for one another. One day, after a few back-and-forths, we had a moment of breakdown, and not what we usually relate it to that we can't function, more in a sense where you break down the pieces that don't fit anymore. During this experience, we had emotions of anger, sadness, confusion, uncertainty, loneliness, joy, relief, happiness, and hope. It was a rollercoaster of emotions. For both, it was a very different adventure of exchange, and yet at the core, our longing for connection persisted. When we reconnected a few days later, we witnessed and shared what we learned through this conversation and are moving forward together.
This might not be your conclusion when you share your feelings. Often it can come with resistance and non-closure of emotions which leads us to retreat and not convey how we are feeling in the future. Or we are so eminent about being right that we don't care about the other person's perspective and keep doing the same. Or the relationship isn't worth the hassle of going through this discomfort. And discomfort is where the gems lie.
The moment we reflect on a disagreement on how we expressed our emotions, how it made us feel afterward, and are interested in improving ourselves and the relationship we are in, we get closer to knowing who we truly are. The expression of emotions isn't a description or definition of who we are. It is solely energy that is articulated in the heat of a moment. When our wires run high, our chemical reactions in the body move faster or need quiet time, and we can't comprehend physically and mentally what is happening.
We can't control the other person. What we can do is becoming aware of our internal chatter, noticing when and what causes our bodies to overreact, from hormones, heat, thirst, hunger, or our thoughts to envision the craziest outcomes.
One thing I keep coming back to is taking a breath, contemplate, and move forward without apologizing and indicating that you did something wrong because you didn't. Every day we learn more about ourselves. Every day is a new opportunity to get closer to who we are by just acknowledging our emotions, seeing them as indicators of where we can improve. It is our life's journey, there is always room for improvement, and by thanking ourselves and others for leading us the way, we are unapologetically us.